Remember when you were a little kid and you would stay up all night talking and whispering into the night, long after mom and dad said "Go to sleep!"? Well our nights in Florida have been sorta like that (however involuntarily, I might add).
Last night the lights were out and I was nearly asleep. Then sis says "Tomorrow can we go swimming?" I reply in the affirmative and begin to nod off again. I am almost asleep when... "You know the pasta you wanted? Can we have that for dinner tomorrow?"
"Of course," I reply and close my eyes once again. I am nodding off when... "When we go to Disneyworld, you know the characters?" Of course, I say. "I am going to face my fears and meet them." Okay, I say, feeling confident this is the end of it.
But it's not. Another five minutes later (did I mention I had to be up at six for work the next morning) there is another question. Then I start on my requests. "Can we please go to sleep?" I politely ask.
A couple minutes pass. "What time will we get to Disneyworld on Staruday?" she asks. "I don't know, in the afternoon, but can we please go to sleep?" I respond.
Another minute or so goes by. "What will we eat at Disneyworld?" I reply "Whatever we feel like, so probably burgers or pizza, but can you please be quiet so we can go to sleep?" I am hopeful the please be quiet part gets across.
But it doesn't. After the next question I respond with "Can you write down what you want to tell me, and then tell me in the morning, so we can go to sleep?"
Having exhausted my variations of asking nicely I finally do fall asleep. Though I suspect more unanswered questions followed.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The Everglades
So check in day in Orlando. Our flight down went great and my sis seemed really content riding in a cab down sunny, palm tree lined streets en route to our hotel. Of course I ran into twenty people I know, most of them CEOs, walking through the hotel lobby in my scrappy t-shirt and shorts. Oh well!
Upon check in the person at the hotel was explaining the different areas of the resort to us. "And here," she shared, "Is the Everglades Atrium with real alligators and turtles from the Everglades."
"The Everglades is here?" my sis asked. "Yes, just right around the corner," the hotel clerk explained. "The real Everglades, it's here?" sis again said. "Yes," responsed the hotel clerk. And then I jumped into clarify that it's not really the real Everglades but is part of the hotel that has plants and animals from the real Everglades. But it was a cute moment.
Upon check in the person at the hotel was explaining the different areas of the resort to us. "And here," she shared, "Is the Everglades Atrium with real alligators and turtles from the Everglades."
"The Everglades is here?" my sis asked. "Yes, just right around the corner," the hotel clerk explained. "The real Everglades, it's here?" sis again said. "Yes," responsed the hotel clerk. And then I jumped into clarify that it's not really the real Everglades but is part of the hotel that has plants and animals from the real Everglades. But it was a cute moment.
Orlando Trip - Part One
“Isn’t that going to be stressful for you?” my boss asked. That was her response when I told her my 26-year-old sister is joining me on my latest work trip to Orlando, FL this week. After a few days at the conference, during which she will sleep in and relax by the pool, we are going to Disneyworld. And I am looking forward to it. This practice of having a family member join you at a conference is not too far from the norm. Other colleagues of mine are bringing their spouse, girlfriend, and even their children.
So I was offended by my boss’ response. In fact it was just the response I was dreading. But part of why it struck a nerve is it was the lingering question in the back of my mind. My sister, a kind tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, social gal with a dizzying array of social activities in her city – from swimming to theater to golf – has a developmental disability. She is technically the “r” word, though I hate to use that word, and has ADD. Nevertheless my sister’s excitement is contagious and her now daily morning calls are filled with questions about Disneyworld.
Which brings me back to this innocent question – “Isn’t that going to be stressful for you?” It sends me down the rabbit hole of unsettling questions. Why would it be stressful to have my sister around? If she did not have a disability would that still be someone’s response? Then again plenty of people I know have siblings who are stressful to be around, with or without a disability. Was there an assumption, however unintended, that being with people with disabilities is stressful? Had my boss ever thought that maybe, it’s fun? Or that maybe, it’s all I’ve ever known so there is no other “norm” to which I can compare?
And I come back up out of the rabbit hole wanting more. Every day people balance work, life, and family. You can’t control the family you are given nor does your traditional family necessarily become those you consider to be family. While I appear single and childless in reality I have a sister who commands my attention in the same way a child might at times. Though I don’t shoulder responsibility for her day-to-day care, I often consider her in my plans. So what I want more of is acknowledgement of my family responsibilities, and for them to be accepted and respected.
I wish my boss had said the same thing to me that was said to my colleague who is bringing his girlfriend with to Orlando – “Oh, great! I can’t wait to meet her.”
Because I have met my sister, and she’s fun. So over the next week, I'll blog about our trip, which knowing my sister means there will be funny, and silly, moments.
So I was offended by my boss’ response. In fact it was just the response I was dreading. But part of why it struck a nerve is it was the lingering question in the back of my mind. My sister, a kind tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, social gal with a dizzying array of social activities in her city – from swimming to theater to golf – has a developmental disability. She is technically the “r” word, though I hate to use that word, and has ADD. Nevertheless my sister’s excitement is contagious and her now daily morning calls are filled with questions about Disneyworld.
Which brings me back to this innocent question – “Isn’t that going to be stressful for you?” It sends me down the rabbit hole of unsettling questions. Why would it be stressful to have my sister around? If she did not have a disability would that still be someone’s response? Then again plenty of people I know have siblings who are stressful to be around, with or without a disability. Was there an assumption, however unintended, that being with people with disabilities is stressful? Had my boss ever thought that maybe, it’s fun? Or that maybe, it’s all I’ve ever known so there is no other “norm” to which I can compare?
And I come back up out of the rabbit hole wanting more. Every day people balance work, life, and family. You can’t control the family you are given nor does your traditional family necessarily become those you consider to be family. While I appear single and childless in reality I have a sister who commands my attention in the same way a child might at times. Though I don’t shoulder responsibility for her day-to-day care, I often consider her in my plans. So what I want more of is acknowledgement of my family responsibilities, and for them to be accepted and respected.
I wish my boss had said the same thing to me that was said to my colleague who is bringing his girlfriend with to Orlando – “Oh, great! I can’t wait to meet her.”
Because I have met my sister, and she’s fun. So over the next week, I'll blog about our trip, which knowing my sister means there will be funny, and silly, moments.
