Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Everglades

So check in day in Orlando. Our flight down went great and my sis seemed really content riding in a cab down sunny, palm tree lined streets en route to our hotel. Of course I ran into twenty people I know, most of them CEOs, walking through the hotel lobby in my scrappy t-shirt and shorts. Oh well!

Upon check in the person at the hotel was explaining the different areas of the resort to us. "And here," she shared, "Is the Everglades Atrium with real alligators and turtles from the Everglades."

"The Everglades is here?" my sis asked. "Yes, just right around the corner," the hotel clerk explained. "The real Everglades, it's here?" sis again said. "Yes," responsed the hotel clerk. And then I jumped into clarify that it's not really the real Everglades but is part of the hotel that has plants and animals from the real Everglades. But it was a cute moment.

Orlando Trip - Part One

“Isn’t that going to be stressful for you?” my boss asked. That was her response when I told her my 26-year-old sister is joining me on my latest work trip to Orlando, FL this week. After a few days at the conference, during which she will sleep in and relax by the pool, we are going to Disneyworld. And I am looking forward to it. This practice of having a family member join you at a conference is not too far from the norm. Other colleagues of mine are bringing their spouse, girlfriend, and even their children.

So I was offended by my boss’ response. In fact it was just the response I was dreading. But part of why it struck a nerve is it was the lingering question in the back of my mind. My sister, a kind tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, social gal with a dizzying array of social activities in her city – from swimming to theater to golf – has a developmental disability. She is technically the “r” word, though I hate to use that word, and has ADD. Nevertheless my sister’s excitement is contagious and her now daily morning calls are filled with questions about Disneyworld.

Which brings me back to this innocent question – “Isn’t that going to be stressful for you?” It sends me down the rabbit hole of unsettling questions. Why would it be stressful to have my sister around? If she did not have a disability would that still be someone’s response? Then again plenty of people I know have siblings who are stressful to be around, with or without a disability. Was there an assumption, however unintended, that being with people with disabilities is stressful? Had my boss ever thought that maybe, it’s fun? Or that maybe, it’s all I’ve ever known so there is no other “norm” to which I can compare?

And I come back up out of the rabbit hole wanting more. Every day people balance work, life, and family. You can’t control the family you are given nor does your traditional family necessarily become those you consider to be family. While I appear single and childless in reality I have a sister who commands my attention in the same way a child might at times. Though I don’t shoulder responsibility for her day-to-day care, I often consider her in my plans. So what I want more of is acknowledgement of my family responsibilities, and for them to be accepted and respected.

I wish my boss had said the same thing to me that was said to my colleague who is bringing his girlfriend with to Orlando – “Oh, great! I can’t wait to meet her.”

Because I have met my sister, and she’s fun. So over the next week, I'll blog about our trip, which knowing my sister means there will be funny, and silly, moments.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Misery Loves Company

Yesterday I had a funny moment at Target. I ran into a girl I met last weekend and we were exchanging pleasantries. Turns out she does consulting and lots of work travel too. In fact she had me beat. "I'm just in town for 12 hours," she said. "In between Indiana and Orlando."

"Oh, for me it's thankfully 36 hours, between Pennsylvania and San Diego," I replied, understanding when she ended our conversation quickly as she had to get going. I had just been mulling over how I felt it was sad I had to "project manage" this last weekend, making sure I was maximizing efficiency in order to get everything done. These short little bits at home in between work trips allow my "real life" to sort of pile up, though I have moved as much as I can online.

But don't feel too bad for me because the next "stop over" for 24 hours in DC is self-inflicted - I'm taking a day off work & enjoying a girls weekend in Miami!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Best Time - Or Not?

As I sat on my fourth flight of the year, feeling a bit tired from my hectic work life and travel schedule, I skimmed an article on happiness. A blurb on the side caught my eye. It said people's happiness decreases throughout their twenties, thirties, and forties until in their mid-fifties it generally improves. In fact retirees were reported to be the happiest. It makes sense; I suppose - freed from the burdens and responsibilities of work, family, and too often balancing family with work, I can see how life would become less stressful.

But man - that made me depressed to think I am only at the beginning of what is going to become more and more stressful years ahead. Then again, life is often what you make of it and how you perceive things as much as it is reality.

On the one hand, right now I am enjoying investing in my own professional growth with really no constraints. The downside is I work lots. Then again I am able to spend fun time with family and friends in DC, around the country, and the world. The downside is I am not really grounded in one community. Since my work is on a national level, but I am beginning to think I would like to focus on one community, that has been sort of nagging at me lately. But then there are so many opportunities when you work in so many communities and with so many cool people... and again the downside - but also the upside - is the frequent travel to these places to meet people and learn.

So as I sit in another hotel I can't decide if this is the best time of my life - traveling, learning, growing, and pretty much just being responsible for myself - or not. Would I rather be grounded in one community, with a less intense job, and more time with family & friends? Maybe I could have a dog, a predictable schedule, and a regular yoga class if that was the case. Would I be content with that? Then again I love exploring new cities, curling up alone in these hotel rooms, rushing to catch a flight, managing my work and life on my tiny laptop, and meeting new people.

I don't know; none of these trade offs has simple answers. I am reminded of something my aunt said once, that the best parts of life are not certain years or months but rather different moments all along the continuum of life. I guess that's where I will wrap up tonight, on a thoughtful moment along its continuum.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Chicago Style Roast Beef

A couple weeks back I had a layover at O'Hare Airport. Guess where I went? None other than the airport location of the Berghoff Cafe, where I walked up to the sandwich maker and he said "You want a good sandwich, I make you a good sandwich," in that Chicago tone of voice.

I ordered me-self a roast beef sandwich toasted with cheese. He cut the hunks of roast beef off right in front of me and I downed the whole thing quickly, along with the Berghoff's homemade root beer.

When I got back to town I told none other than my friend Ricky, who being from Chicago understands what I mean when I say Chicago style roast beef. Then I found out the best. news. ever. When Ricky's parents came to visit a couple weeks back from Chicago, they brought him a hunk of roast beef. Being a good Chicagoan he turned the roast beef into Italian beef for sandwiches. Then he saved the dripping to turn into gravy for our Turducken this holiday!

Yum. Delicious. I tasted it this morning and it's GREAT.

Ready to Rumble!!!

My friend has written the following about the beloved turducken basting in our oven this festive holiday:

In this corner, in the black suit, weighing in at 172 pounds…
The Chow Hound from Chitown,
The Culinary Connoisseur
The Goofy Gourmet…
RICKY!

And in this corner, in the birthday suit, weighing in at 16.14 pounds…
The Fowl Triumvirate,
The Nesting Doll from the City of Dis,
The Savory Cerberus…
The Turduckn!

LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's time to cook our turducken! We are hosting Thanksgiving today in our beautiful old brownstone in Washington. I am enjoying the day with friends. Part of me is a Monica type from Friends in that I really enjoy hosting gatherings of friends. Today is hosting central for me and I love it.

Yesterday, after I stocked up on wine I was walking back up the street when - lo and behold - Mr. Prez, his girls, and his mother-in-law walked out of Martha's Table, a nonprofit near my 'hood! How funny that I ran into them while I was doing my T-Day errands.

So anyway back to Thanksgiving. I cooked cranberry sauce and pie; now we're roasting our turducken - a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. Yum. Nothing says Thansgiving like a bunch of poultry.